Boycott the Main Event?

In response to the Kidd...

If I were booked in a match and I wasn't announced the winner after the closing bell, I would call myself a 'non-loser.' ('Non-loser' is trademarked as of now and I own the trademark and if anyone uses the term 'non-loser,' thou shalt pay me a hefty sum.)

As far as Wrestlemania 24...

MAIN EVENT FOR THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP (and the match with the opening bell representing not only the beginning of this match, but the point at which I head to the parking lot.)
John Cena (c) v. Triple H v. Randy Orton

WINNER: Do I really need to tell you...

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Edge (c) v. The Undertaker

WINNER: The Undertaker, take 2...

UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
M.V.P. (c) v. Matt Hardy

WINNER: Matt Hardy... Matt Hardy will finally get a big win. What? The U.S. title isn't a big win? Chris Benoit held this title... Ric Flair held this title... Arn Anderson... Steve Austin... John Cena... ugh. I hate Cena.

RIC FLAIR'S FINAL MATCH
Ric Flair v. Shawn Michaels

WINNER: Ric Flair... JK! LOL! Although I do think Flair should be ending Michael's career. It would have been daring and interesting and compelling to book Mr. Kennedy in Michael's place. However, Cena has returned and it's back to formula!!!!

MONEY IN THE BANK
Jeff Hardy (in possibly his final match due to death during this match) v. Mr. Kennedy v. Umaga v. Kane v. Rey Mysterio v. C.M. Punk

WINNER: Jeff Hardy - to make up for dropping him down the ladder he's worked his ass off to climb at the first sign of Cena... or Mr. Kennedy - to make up for dropping him down the heel ladder he's worked his ass off to climb at the first sign of Triple H turning heel because Cena is back... or C.M. Punk - to make up for the lack of building any superstar up, besides Jeff Hardy who for some reason is still relegated to Ladder Matches... I'm going with Jeff Hardy because he deserves it the most.

SOME SORT OF GIMMICK MATCH
Chris Jericho v. J.B.L.

WINNER: Chris Jericho... This feud is good for everybody except the wrestling fan. Having worked a combined 4 matches over the last 2 years, they're both ironing out kinks. And who better to work with for either wrestler? Y2J gets to work out kinks with a slow super-heel and J.B.L. gets to work on his speed with a fast super-face. Their popularity will outshine their shit matches. However, by Wrestlemania, I believe these two professionals will be firing on all cylinders and put on the best match of the night.

WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (c) v. Santino Marella and Carlito

WINNER: Santino Marella and Carlito... these guys are the most entertaining part of Raw more often than not and they deserve more television time. Also, the tag titles should be put on an interesting team.

WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
Beth Phoenix (c) v. Ashley (if Vince still thinks people care about her)... or Maria (if the focus is to sell her Playboy issue)... or Mickie James (if the focus of this match is wrestling)

WINNER: People that have already used the bathroom because the bathroom is going to be packed out during this match.

BATISTA MATCH
Batista v. The Big Show

WINNER: Batis...duh...

VINCE MCMAHON MATCH
Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon and The Great Khali v. Hornswoggle and Finlay and Mick Foley

WINNER: Vince McMahon for 24 years of Wrestlemanias!


So there you have it OIW Nation. That's my Wrestlemania. It's not what I expected ten days ago, but it could have been worse... there could be no Jericho and no JBL. What can I do? Vince is all about the kiddies and the kiddies are all about John Cena just like I was all about Hulk Hogan when I was a little boy.

However! Here is my 'Wrestlemania Challenge' to the Kidd... nay, not only the Kidd but every 'real' wrestling fan attending Wrestlemania that was excited for Wrestlemania up until John Cena entered the Royal Rumble...BOYCOTT THE MAIN EVENT!!! I want Cena to make Triple H tap out... again... in front of an empty stadium... or a half-full - yes, I'm an optimist - stadium.

BOYCOTT THE MAIN EVENT. MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD. TELL VINCE THAT HE IS KIND OF AN IDIOT WHEN IT COMES TO TALENT. TELL TRIPLE H THAT THIS SHIT WILL NOT FLY WHEN VINCE IS GONE. TELL JOHN CENA THAT THE WORLD IS NOT HIS OYSTER. STAND UP FOR JEFF HARDY AND MR. KENNEDY AND ALL THE TALENT THAT MADE RAW INTERESTING WHILE CENA WAS GONE.

Peace out...

P.S.
TNA was kind of lame. Actually, it was decent, but anytime I see Billy Gunn I just think of wrestling as lame.

Seannie-Wan

Take 2

Alright, so apparently no way out will contain 2 wrestlemania title shot giving elimination chamber matches now. The card for wwe's february ppv now reads:

Orton v. Cena (wwe)

Mysterio v. Edge (world)

Elimination Chamber Raw:
HBK v. HHH v. JBL v. Y2J v. Umaga v. Jeff Hardy

Elimination Chamber SD!:
Bautista v. Taker v. Finlay v. MVP v. Great Khali v. Big Daddy V

Mr. Kennedy v. Flair

If anyone is reading this that has a say, this card is way more promising of action than one main evented by John Cena and triple h ie: Wrestlemania. Please give us a wrestlemania filled with well matched, first time meeting contests. If i only had one wish, it would be to not be subjected to Cena/HHH rematch; taker/hbk(rematch), kennedy/flair(then rematch), or even taker/edge(they wrestled last month on ppv in a triple threat, and incidentally edge isn't undefeated. He lost last year. Any skeptics answer me this, if you're booked in a match, and you're there at opening bell time, and somebody wins that isn't you, what do you call yourself?)

Raw 1/28/2008

Well, the show opened with John Cena and it closed with John Cena. Ah, just like five months ago when I hated Raw. Thank goodness he's back, otherwise the show would probably be enjoyable.

'Hey Everybody,' said Vince McMahon, 'John Cena is back now so anything cool you had going on, well just consider it over. Ok?'

Mr. Kennedy says he's going to end Ric Flair's career. I believe him. Although, he's not going to do it at No Way Out. He's going to end it at Wrestlemania 24... kinda lame.

John Cena will beat Randy Orton for the WWE Championship at No Way Out. Triple H will win the Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out. Surprise! John Cena - Triple H rematch at Wrestlemania 24. I'm glad I'm going!

Jeff Hardy worked as though he didn't care during his God-awful tag match with Chris Jericho against JBL and Randy Orton. Randy Orton is a doofus and a bad wrestler.

Santino Marella is funny. The D-X reunion was funny.

Vince McMahon was mean to Hornswaggle. That wasn't funny. It was cruel.

John Cena... hate him.

Leave It To Cena, WMXXIV hopexpectations!!

John Cena's injury was for fans everywhere a blessing in broad daylight. That is why his surprise early return, in the royal rumble match, and subsequent victory and green light immediately back to the main event at the years biggest event is to those same fans(and his peers) so catastrophically bad. I can't think of a single other situation which would leave such a bad taste in my mouth about advancements in modern medicine and physically therapy, than john cenas super speedy recovery to a serious injury. It just doesnt seem fair. It's no miracle. Curse.. That's the word. Seannie said it best about our wrestlemania smiles..
..the trip itself however, will only include sean and i, despite what was said in a previous post about the inclusion of our subordinates. Sorry guys. Furthermore, as the undisputed 2007 writer/personality/OIW fan icon/etc. of the year, and more importantly, #1 in all of your puny hearts i can assure you, that when I take our friend Seannie to WMXXIV, it will be like taking him to hell and back and when the smoke settles, somebody will be chokeslammed in the name of the FATHER, and the SON, and the ..(fan interaction).

Pressing foward..

So everybodies always asking me, 'so, the kid, what type of card would you like to see for wrestlemania based on events of the present?'
So basically, as of right now, anyway, i present my wrestlemania hopexpectations:

$ in the bank:
(It's difficult to include all of the superstars i want to see in the card, and all the superstars that are just going to be booked regardless of what i hopexpectate, no denying. That being said i also can't deny that this match especially is WWe's way to include any extra mid to main event level personas on the years card. Yatta yatta yatta i am going to go with the 8 man match for inclusions sake and also the sake of likelyhood, but i am doing it with the match itself in mind, though i did give thought to some Bautista involvement)
Here we go.

Shelton Benjamin Big Show
Snitsky Rey Mysterio
MVP Matt Hardy
Jon Morrison Umaga

Chk.

HHH v. JBL-it only makes too much sense to me to start up a huge fued between these two huge egos on either side of the goodguy/badguy spectrum, while that is still the case. This match and its build up has limitless heat potential for both. Jbl is awesome at being evil personified.

Kennedy v. Y2J -What would be better, the verbal banter between two gifted stickmen, or the action packed edge of your seat match they would put on? nO, seriously, i cant figure it out.

Taker v. Cena - Cena chooses the smackdown, uh i mean world title to challeng for at WMXXIV meanwhile takers wins the title from Edge at no way out (with help from the debuting 'Othertakers' in fending off Edge's 'Edgeheads'), forcing two guys who nobody can see losing a match at this years wrestlemania to square off.

Flair v. Orton- for the wwe championship. High Stakes.

Michaels v. jeff Hardy- i dunno, maybe one of them should turn heel since being a face hasn't really brought too much perspective good luck to either of them, and since the potential for a match classic between them is inevitable.

Edge v. Cm Punk, unveiled as one of the othertakers- I know what you're thinking,... and yor probably right.

London/Kendrick
Holly/Rhodes
Carlito/Mariella

in some sort of gimmick match. In the spirit of including the tag team division on the grandest stage of them all, as well as the above mentioned, for the most part talented competitors. Good stuff could go down if done right.

That wraps it up i didnt include a womens match but i do hope to see maria scantily clad to round out my evening. Chk again. I'll tell Seannie to post up on or before raw tommorrow to keep our beloved OIW fans in tune with our two cents, and Seannie? ..well Seannie will do just that because i have told him so. Cheers!

Royal Rumble...?

'What the fuck just happened?'
- John Kanteen moments after the Royal Rumble went off the air.


On behalf of the entire staff here at 'Outside Interference Wrestling,' and as head-editor/writer/idea man/athlete/babyface, I must apologize to the OIW Nation for the lack of posts and videos and pictures and polls and what has come to be known in some social circles as '...the most pro-wrestling fun on the Internet.'

I offer no excuses and I expect no sympathy as head-editor/writer/idea man/athlete/babyface of OIW. However, my colleague, and assistant to the head-editor/writer/idea man/athlete/babyface, The Kidd will be appearing at the Broadway Mall and trying to come up with legitimate reasons for our absence in your lives and assuming that you'll understand why we hadn't found seven (7) minutes over the last month and a half to type out the results of a Friday Night Smackdown.

The important thing is that during our hiatus, I've realized that I hate John Cena. I don't mean that I hate John Cena, the human being; I mean I hate John Cena, the WWE product. I don't hate the product of John Cena because he can't wrestle as well as half the talent in the WWE locker room. I don't hate the product of John Cena because is the ONLY attempt at a major story-line on the Raw brand. I don't hate the product of John Cena because he is a poor man's The Rock. I hate John Cena because he is crammed down my throat and I don't have the ability to refuse.

I am a wrestling fan and no matter how bad the WWE may get, I'm watching their show every Monday night. I get the same feeling of excitement and rush of adrenaline on the Sunday of a Pay-Per-View as I got when I was a 12 years old. I think that a well-constructed wrestling match, like Chris Benoit v. JBL at Wrestlemania 22, is art. I appreciate the amount of work needed to put a wrestling match together by both the performers and the announcers. I think a well-written storyline can be more compelling that many Hollywood films.
After last night's Rumble, I find myself questioning whether something I truly enjoyed my entire life is something I can enjoy anymore. But, I will keep watching.

I heard John Cena's music hit as the 30th entry into the Royal Rumble match and I knew that the show was over. Four enjoyable months of Monday Night Raw were flushed down the toilet. Great. My subordinates and I here at OIW have our Wrestlemania 24 tickets but we no longer have our Wrestlemania 24 smiles. That mother-fucker's music hit and I knew as soon as I saw him take off his 'Hustle Loyalty Respect' t-shirt that not only was he about to clear out the ring of 8 to 10 wrestlers that are more technically sound than he, but he would wind up winning the match... and not only would he win the match but he would be in the Main Event at Wrestlemania 24... and not only would he be in the Main Event at Wrestlemania 24, but he would win the WWE Championship... and not only would he win the WWE Championship, but he would be taking it back from Randy Orton... and not only would the Main Event of Wrestlemania 24 most likely be a Randy Orton - John Cena rematch, but the backup plan would probably be a Triple H - John Cena rematch.

It suddenly made sense why after 4 months of a strong push - and to be honest, probably the best push I've seen the WWE give someone is a few years - Jeff Hardy lost clean to the top-heel/doofus man-child WWE Champion Randy Orton. He lost clean because he's going to be headed back to mid-card status faster than you can put your stupid hand in front of your stupid face and wave it and say 'You can't see me.' That's it for Jeff Hardy, folks. Oh... and Mr. Kennedy... yeah, that's it for him too. Why? Well, duh... Triple H has to turn heel again so that John Cena can feud with him so that Vince McMahon will love Triple H even more because he puts over the top guy and does the right thing for the company and Triple H can further slip his poisonous talons into the business that I used to love so much so that when Vince McMahon finally dies, Triple H will be in complete control of the Sports Entertainment World. Yes sir, the Connecticut Blue Blood will be the Connecticut Dictator. I call it the 'McMahon-Helmsley Conspiracy.' Obviously, there is no longer room for Mr. Kennedy at the top of the heel food-chain. I guess he and Jeff Hardy are planning out their 'Money In The Bank' high-spots right now... as John Cena goes to shoot 'The Marine 2.'

Speaking of which, I've heard Greg Batista is in the sequel. He plays John Cena's fellow soldier who John Cena thought for dead when their caravan was attacked by blood-thirsty terrorists during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Turns out he survived but had to have his left leg and right arm replaced with a robot leg and a robot arm... also he was kidnapped and hypnotized into hating America. Long story short, the bad guy whips out a revamped, evil Batista and John Cena's like 'Jesus! Batista I thought you were dead!' John Cena has to fight Batista but doesn't really want to because Batista was his buddy but it's ok because at the end Batista is dehypnotized when he remembers this one time that John Cena risked his own life to save Batista's during the war - which obviously wasn't the time that Batista was thought to be killed - and saves the day by killing the bad guy... and the bad guy is played by Christopher Walken.

OH, the pain! Shane! Where are you?!? I fear that you are the WWE's last hope. Come back to television! Save us!

Or perhaps this is what Chris Jericho is saving us from?

Regardless, John Cena is back and along with him will come shitty wrestling television shows. I hate him.